Courtesy of Disney

Princess birthday parties can be had at Disney's theme parks, resorts and cruise ships.

When Rosie and Ben Platt took their son and daughter, Coral, to Disneyland recently to celebrate Coral’s fourth birthday, Rosie worried it would spoil her daughter.

But given Coral’s obsession with the Disney princesses and the fact that they were meeting California relatives there, trepidation quickly turned to excitement upon arrival.

“We were 13 deep and everyone – kids and adults – were just beaming skipping down Main Street,” said Rosie Platt of Portland, Ore. “I wouldn’t typically have that feeling about a big corporation, but Disneyland really is the happiest place on Earth.”

When did kids' birthday parties go from gifts and games at home to full-blown Disney vacations? 

Disney doesn't track the number of children who celebrate their birthdays at a Disney theme park, resort or on its cruise ships, but company representatives, travel agents and many parents agree it appears to be on the rise.

While “celebration vacations” to mark a birthday or anniversary are increasing, according to travel trend watcher Peter Yesawich, not everyone thinks they're a good idea.

“Birthday parties have become an arms race,” said Peggy Orenstein, who wrote the bestseller “Cinderella Ate My Daughter.”  

“First it was the games at home, then it’s that each kid gets a goody bag, then the parties at the bouncy houses, then the princess parties, and now it’s the Disney birthday parties,” she said. “It keeps escalating. And of course Disney is looking for ways to expand its market and up the ante.”

For a two-night trip in April to Disneyland in California, a family of four could spend close to $2,000 for two nights at the Disneyland Hotel and three-day park passes alone. A 7-night cruise aboard Disney's brand-new Fantasy ship around the Carribbean, leaving from Florida in April, starts around $8,000 for a family of four. And a four-night stay at the new Disney Aulani Resort in Hawaii, with a partial ocean view room and round-trip flights from Seattle, starts around $4,400.

And that's not including the extras.

At Disney’s 11 parks worldwide, numerous resorts (the latest just opened in Hawaii), and on Disney’s four cruise ships (the newest sails this month), guests also can choose from dozens of birthday gifts, parties and packages to add to their Disney vacation, ranging from $15 for a "personal-sized" birthday cake, to $395 to decorate a hotel room with five small gift boxes and balloons, to a whopping $690 for a premium party for up to 10 kids at Disney's Polynesian Resort in Florida, which includes two-hour use of the Never Land Club games and activities, a character visit, and pizza and cake.

Orenstein believes over-the-top birthday parties can create spoiled children, and she also worries that the focus on princesses and subsequently the popular princess-themed parties – a huge draw for Disney parks and resorts – sends the wrong messages to girls.

“The problem becomes when it’s princesses at age 3, Bonne Bell Lip Smackers at 4, watching 'Top Model' at 9, and 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' at 14,” she said. “We’re raising our daughters to define themselves from the outside in, to focus on appearance and performance rather than on authenticity.”

If you don’t have a young daughter (or haven’t strolled the aisles of Target or even Home Depot lately), you may not have heard of Princesses Jasmine, Ariel, Belle and the rest. The Disney Princess brand, which sells everything from movies to toys to paint, has leaped from a $300 million industry when the brand launched a decade ago to $4 billion a year.

“I think giving in to the princesses and the Disney drama is inevitable unless you live in a cave,” said Rosie Platt. “But it’s being well-rounded about what you expose them to. Coral also likes snakes and dinosaurs. The princesses aren’t her whole world.”

According to Yesawich, vice chairman for travel marketing firm MMGY Global, two factors are contributing to the apparent rise in birthday trips to Disney properties: impressive amenities for parents at luxury resorts and cruise lines, and parental guilt.

Both parents work in about 60 percent of American households, he said, and there is “a tremendous amount of parental guilt. So vacation becomes when you make up for the time you didn’t get to spend with the kids. Disney is a great place to do this.”

Jennifer Duston, an elementary school teacher in Ventura, Calif., agrees. She took one daughter to Disneyland for her third birthday and the family splurged on a Disney cruise last year.

Steven Miller / Courtesy of Disney

Disney birthday gifts come in familiar shapes.

“The cruise was the best vacation we’ve ever had,” she said. “My daughters were really, really into the princesses and they loved dressing up like a princess and seeing all the princesses come around.”

However, Duston reminded the girls that not every birthday would be this extravagant, and she turned the princess phase into an opportunity to teach good manners and kindness.

“We can’t control what gets our children excited, but we can control how we allow it to affect them,” she said.

Disney doesn’t track exact numbers, but several thousand birthday packages are requested on the cruise line alone each year, said Lisa Haines, vice president for public affairs.

Steven Miller, a Disney spokesman, said he has seen an uptick in demand for birthday merchandise as well as more kids having birthdays at the Florida parks where he works.

“You have experiences here that don’t happen anywhere else,” he said. “If you want to become a princess or another character, you are magically transformed for a day. People come here because we make them feel very special.”

As for Coral Platt, is she expecting something bigger and better for her fifth birthday next year? Actually, she’s already requested a small party at home with an “owl-shaped cake.”

“I think our Disney trip will be a hard birthday to beat, but I don’t think 4-year-olds think that way yet,” Rosie Platt said. “Birthdays in general are an exciting time, and we like to celebrate our little people.”

More on TODAY Travel

• New Disney Fantasy cruise ship sets sail this month
• Disney breaks the mold with Aulani resort
• Coolest new Disney vacations

Inspiration strikes when you least expect it, and last summer it hit Julie Melnick on a flight from Los Angeles to Florida.

NannyintheClouds.com

She struggled onto the plane with a car seat, her 2-year-old son and assorted carry-on bags, and then had a tough time enroute. “My child didn’t want to sit still and he needed to be walked up and down the aisle 5,000 times,” Melnick, who was traveling solo with her son, told TODAY.com. “It was just such a draining experience.”

Melnick knew other moms deal with the same thing, and she thought there had to be a better way. Her solution: Nanny in the Clouds, a website that will match parents seeking in-flight babysitters with a fellow passenger on their flight who has experience caring for children.

Signing up is free, but once a match is made, parents pay $10 for an introduction to a potential babysitter. Then it’s up to the sitter and the parents to work out a fee — and to call the airline and ask to be seated together or request adjoining seats during check in.

“We're recommending the going rate, which is $10 to $20 an hour,” said Melnick. “But a lot of people are willing to pay a premium when they’re traveling.”

Nannies must provide two references upon signing up, but Nanny in the Clouds does not do background checks. “If they’re a teacher, a college student or a grandma, they are qualified in our eye,” said Melnick. Instead, the site encourages parents to do their homework and have phone conversations and/or an in-person meeting to ensure that the match is right.

TODAY.com asked some family travel experts to give Nanny in the Clouds the once over.

“My first reaction was: How lazy are parents that they can’t even watch their own children during a measly flight?” said Colleen Lanin, editor and founder of TravelMamas.com. But after thinking it over, she decided a sitter in the air could be a lifesaver for a mom or dad who is traveling solo with two or more young children. “It would also be a great service for parents who are prone to air sickness or who are nervous/phobic flyers,” said Lanin.

“I would predict more crying, not less,” said Suzanne Rowan Kelleher, editor-in-chief at We Just Got Back. “Most small kids would want to sit with their parents, not a stranger, on a flight.”

Airplane travel “takes the whole family out of their routine” by adding anxiety, excitement, and, usually, sleep deprivation, said travel comfort specialist Anya Clowers of JetwithKids.com. “If the timing and the match were correct, and parents remain in control by using the nanny mostly as an assistant to help, this may be a blessing.”  

For those who do hire an in-flight sitter, though, Clowers advises scheduling a get-to-know-you session before boarding. “A photo or Skype session prior to travel is a good idea so the nanny is not a stranger on the day of travel,” she said.

Nanny in the Clouds launched in November 2011, although Melnick said that, so far, no matches for in-flight sitters have been made.

“There are 30,000 flights a day, and right now it’s a long shot that there will be a registered sitter on the flight you’re on,” said Melnick. So within a few weeks the site will add a feature that allows travelers to search by city pairs instead of specific flight numbers. That will expand the options and allow a mom going from Los Angeles to Miami to choose a flight that already has a registered nanny.

While Melnick has high hopes for her service, she’s not the first to create a program that provides in-flight babysitters. One airline, Gulf Air, already offers specially trained Sky Nannies as a complimentary service on its wide-bodied aircraft flying long-haul flights and in its airport lounges.

Still, whether there’s a sitter on board or not, Clowers said, “Parents still need to take responsibility for their children and be prepared to meet their needs at 37,000 feet.”

Would you use the Nanny in the Clouds service? Tell us on Facebook.

Find more by Harriet Baskas on Stuck at The Airport.com and follow her on Twitter. 

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Curtis Anderson

A young guest explores the woods at Leaping Lamb Farm in Alsea, Ore.

Families are so busy juggling science projects, carpools and after-school activities that we often don’t take enough time to connect with nature, or with one another, in our daily lives. Nature-focused vacations enable parents and children to unplug from technology and everyday stresses while using all of our senses to create lifelong memories.

Richard Louv, recipient of the Audubon medal and author of the bestselling book “Last Child in the Woods,” coined the term Nature Deficit Disorder, which he defines as, “a societal term that refers to the human cost of alienation from nature. It’s the price to our mental and physical health, our ability to learn, our productivity and, particularly for children, our sense of wonder.”

To reignite that sense of wonder, here are some ways to connect with nature with a family vacation:

Farm stay
With the help of USDA grants, Scottie Jones, owner of the Leaping Lamb Farm in Oregon, launched FarmStayUS.com in 2011 to connect guests with farmers and ranchers. The directory lists working farms and ranches where families can experience firsthand where our food comes from and what it takes to run a farm.

Scottie Jones

Collecting fresh eggs at Leaping Lamb Farm in Alsea, Ore.

“When families first get here, they all have these portable devices. But that’s it. No one turns them back on,” Jones says. Instead, kids and adults brush donkeys, bottle-feed lambs, play in the hay loft, and throw rocks into the creek. A favorite activity is collecting fresh eggs from her chickens. “It’s like Easter every day, even for the parents,” she says.

Dude ranch
A dude ranch vacation gives families a chance to experience wilderness from horseback. DudeRanch.org matches vacationers with ranches. The site says: “Your appreciation of nature, family and friends will be renewed. You’ll find that good riding, good food and good friends will leave you peaceful and content. You’ll discover the luxuries of silence, the wind on your face and the stars shining brightly.”

Jan D Armor / Courtesy Covered Wagon Ranch, Mont.

Out for a stroll.

Activities vary from those you might expect like canoeing, archery and river rafting to more surprising options like yoga, zip-lining and spa treatments. One activity that remains constant is horseback riding in the great outdoors.

Camping and state/national parks
Debi Huang, creator of GoExploreNature.com, says, “Camping is certainly an inexpensive way for people to travel and it gives you an automatic way to explore nature.” For beginner campers, she suggests trying an overnight backyard campout before embarking on a more extensive adventure away from home. Another option for novice campers is to co-vacation with another family that has more outdoor experience.

From roughing it in a tent to more luxurious cabin rentals, state and national parks offer a variety of camping options as well as day passes for families who’d rather stay in a standard hotel overnight.

Louv says, “I hear from a lot of parents that they feel like they’re torturing their kids when they take them camping or to national parks because children are so plugged in (to technology). But when the kids come back from college, it’s those times in nature that they remember. It’s highly unlikely that college kids would sit around the kitchen table reminiscing about that time they scored really well on Nintendo.”

Simple nature fixes
Even if you don’t plan your entire trip around nature, you can still infuse some outdoor play into a typical vacation. Make time for a beach day or visit a botanic garden, zoo, aquarium or local park.  

Taking time out from often over-stimulating museums, shops, sites and amusement park attractions will help everyone relax and reconnect. And isn’t that what a vacation is supposed to be all about?

Colleen Lanin is the founder/editor of TravelMamas.com, a site for anyone who wants to travel with children … and stay sane!

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Many airplane passengers can’t stand flying within the same fuselage as children. In a survey of nearly 2,500 individuals by Travelzoo Australia, screaming children were named as the worst aspect of air travel by nearly 68 percent of respondents. Last year, Europe’s budget airline Ryanair introduced child-free flights and Malaysia Airlines banned babies from its first-class cabin on some flights.

Apparently travelers think airplanes should be Zen zones free from the noise, exuberance, and annoyance of children. But what’s a traveling parent to do? Rather than staying grounded until the kids go off to college, try these tips from family travel bloggers for handling kid-hating curmudgeons on airplanes:

Related: Readers react to 'kid-hating curmudgeons on planes'

Make friends
Jessica Bowers, author of SuitcasesandSippycups.com, suggests asking those seated nearby to tell you if your children are bothering them. She says, “I think just giving (other passengers) the freedom to complain makes them less cranky.”

Debbie Dubrow of DeliciousBaby.com says, “Once someone actually said ‘Just my luck’ as he sat down next to me, and I answered with a polite and friendly, ‘I'm sorry, I didn't hear you?’ which sent him back-peddling. He was actually quite polite for the rest of the trip.”

Some parents even recommend purchasing a round of drinks for neighboring passengers or passing out ear plugs to drown out any child-induced noisiness.

Keep kicking to a minimum

Avoid jostling your neighbors by removing children’s shoes; there will be less kicking if tootsies get sore from this unwanted behavior. Keep the tray table steady by choosing mellow activities and explaining to children how their behavior could disturb those seated in front of them.

Fly prepared
To avoid mid-flight meltdowns, pack toy sets, arts-and-crafts projects, and travel-sized games and puzzles. Bring along soft-covered books or download children’s stories to your smartphone or tablet. Even if you don’t allow television or video games at home, you may want to consider bending the rules to allow a bit of screen time, especially on a very long flight.

Pack snacks
Pack a wide variety of healthy snacks, all in their own small containers. Dole out goodies one at a time to keep mouths happily munching (and silent). You might want to bring a few special treats to hand out for good behavior toward the end of your journey. Sandra Foyt of AlbanyKid.com always keeps a few lollipops handy on flights, “for emergency purposes.”

Make an obvious effort
Parental involvement is key in keeping your offspring content in the close confines of an airplane cabin. Many travelers complain that it is not the children on planes that upset them, but their inattentive parents. Make an obvious display of your efforts to show you’re doing your best to soothe the wails of your crying baby or to diffuse your child’s tantrum.

Lisa Goodmurphy of GoneWithTheFamily.com says, “I think the most important thing when flying with kids is that your attention needs to be 100 percent focused on them. (Children) can’t be expected to know how to behave on a plane unless you teach them how.”

Ignore the haters
Other passengers may inwardly (or less often, outwardly) groan when you board with your offspring. Despite all of the negative polls and articles, not everyone on the plane will hate you. Many will be sympathetic to the sometimes stressful task of flying with children.

If all else fails, silently repeat this mantra, “This too shall pass.” Soon enough, your family will land safely at your destination. And remember, you will likely never have to see your fellow passengers ever again!

Do you have some tried-and-true tips when traveling with children? Tell us on Facebook.

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Colleen Lanin is the founder/editor of TravelMamas.com, a site for anyone who wants to travel with children…and stay sane!

Kids do the Disk'O at The Adventuredome Theme Park, Circus Circus, in Las Vegas.

Luxury Las Vegas hotels are more affordable than ever, but some of these classic Vegas hotels are actually better suited for families.

Complete with spacious suites, on-site bowling alleys, mini-golf, and kid-friendly pools, check out these affordable family-friendly Vegas hotels both on and off the Strip.

Slideshow: Top U.S. resorts with lazy rivers & cool pools

Both Excalibur and its North Strip sibling, Circus Circus, were designed with families in mind and feature regularly scheduled free entertainment and large arcades. Circus Circus edges out the Excalibur with its own theme park (including rides for all ages) and miniature golf.

For toddlers, Circus Circus offers a midway, clowns, and jugglers. The Excalibur also has jugglers and throws in puppet shows and story times as well.

More info: Excalibur (tel. 800/937-7777 or 702/597-7777; www.excalibur.com); Circus Circus (tel. 800/634-3450 or 702/734-0410; www.circuscircus.com)

Most family-friendly hotel off the Strip: The Orleans

The Orleans has a bowling alley with 70 lanes and an 18-screen movie theater. On-site child care means that parents can easily escape to the spa or for a dip in the pool. A free shuttle to the Las Vegas Strip runs about every 30 minutes.

More info: tel. 800/ORLEANS (675-3267) or 702/365-7111; www.orleanscasino.com

Best view: Stratosphere Casino, hotel & tower

Unless you are on a low floor, at night, you should get a view of something sparkling no matter where you stay. But the view standing on the tower atop the Stratosphere, located at the northernmost end of the Strip, tops them all.

More info: tel. 800/998-6937 or 702/380-7777; www.stratospherehotel.com

Best suite deals close to the Strip: Carriage House

The Carriage House offers plenty of room for families in a nongaming environment a block from the Strip (you'll find this property between the Planet Hollywood and MGM Grand hotels).

A full kitchen in each suite also makes eat-in meals an option. And unlike some other Vegas hotels, there's full cable TV with more than 40 channels, along with Nintendo at an hourly rate, plus free board games.

More info: tel. 800/221-2301 or 702/798-1020; www.carriagehouselasvegas.com

Best pool: The Flamingo

You can bob on a lazy river ride or bodysurf the gentle swells in the pools at both the (otherwise not quite kid-friendly) Mandalay Bay or the Monte Carlo Resort & Casino, but the best pool scene for kids is at The Flamingo, where five pools, two whirlpools, a kiddie pool and waterslides are set in a tropical environment complete with exotic birds and koi ponds.

The Flamingo also has one of the best hotel buffets for families: Kids 7 and under can eat for a discount price at breakfast, brunch and dinner, with a view of birds, habitat and fishponds.

More info: Mandalay Bay (tel. 877/632-7800 or 702/632-7777; www.mandalaybay.com); Monte Carlo Resort & Casino (tel. 800/311-8999 or 702/730-7777; www.montecarlo.com); The Flamingo (tel. 800/732-2111 or 702/733-3111; www.flamingolasvegas.com)

Most peace & quiet off the Strip

Staying in Henderson at the Green Valley Ranch resort will give you plenty of peace and quiet in luxurious surroundings, plus entertaining activities for the children (including an on-site multiplex). There's a casino, but adults can avoid it completely and just play golf or sun by the pool.

More info: tel. 866/782-9487 or 702/617-7777; www.greenvalleyranchresort.com

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On the Disney Dream cruise ship, take a break from the kids in the Meridian, an adult-only lounge that offers inside seating and an outdoor teak deck.

No one deserves a romantic getaway more than moms and dads. If you can’t find a sitter or don’t want to leave the kids at home, check out these options for having your travel version of a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and eating it too!

Jack Affleck

Keystone Resort in Colorado offers plenty for children and adults, including horse-drawn sleigh rides.

Warm up in a winter wonderland
A ski vacation provides just the right mix of family-time and couple-time. Keystone Resort in Colorado is known for its kid-friendly ski school (ages 3-plus), horse-drawn sleigh-ride dinners, and a snow fort complete with maze slide, and lookout tower. For a special date night hire an in-room babysitter so you can board a gondola to snuggle up under a blanket while you soar to 12,000 feet to dine on contemporary cuisine with a Bavarian accent at the AAA four-star Alpenglowe Stube.  

Canada’s Whistler Blackcomb also offers ski school for the kids (ages 3-plus) as well as romantic touches for parents. Take a dogsled adventure for two to a breathtaking waterfall dripping with icicles, or bring the kids along for a jaunt through the Canadian wilderness. Book a rental condo with room for the whole brood and cozy up by the fire after the kids are asleep.

Be mine at the beach
On a beach vacation, the whole family can play together in the water and on the sandy shore. Just when the kids tire of too much time with mom and dad, sneak away for a bit of romance.

All guests at Franklin D. Resort & Spa in Jamaica are assigned a vacation nanny as a full-time babysitter or to act as that extra pair of hands you always wish you had. At first Corinne McDermott, founder of HaveBabyWillTravel.com, was uncomfortable with the idea of a nanny, however, she says, “We had been in our room for no more than 10 minutes when both kids were swimsuited, sun screened, a dirty diaper dealt with, and out on the beach just outside our door -- leaving me to unpack in peace with a cold Red Stripe in my hand. I was sold!”

There are plenty of fabulous beach hotel options in Hawaii, but if traveling with young children, only one offers a kids’ club for children as young as 3, Disney’s Aulani Resort on Oahu. With Hawaiian crafts (like paper lei making), interactive electronic game tables and visits from Disney characters -- it may be difficult to get the kids to leave.

Sail into romance
Cruises offer fun for all ages, both at sea and in port. Plus, parents can indulge in side-by-side massages in the ship’s spa or sip cocktails in a floating nightclub while children are busy with kids’ club activities such as games, arts and crafts, and face-painting. Tweens and teens have clubs of their own with video games and dance parties. Carolyn Spencer Brown, editor in chief of Cruisecritic.com, says, “Certain cruise lines are better for kids with different ages.” She recommends Cunard (babies and toddlers), Disney (children under 10), Carnival (tweens), and Royal Caribbean (teens).

For a customized, private sailing experience, you can charter your own yacht. You don’t need to be a rock star to sail like one; prices start at $300 per person per day all-inclusive through AmazingCharters.com. Tuck the kids into bed and then enjoy a romantic dinner for two under the stars, prepared by your own private chef. Your crew can even create a treasure hunt for the children on shore while you and your honey soak up some rays.

No matter the destination, be sure to make time for a little romance during your next family vacation!

Colleen Lanin is the founder/editor of TravelMamas.com, a site for anyone who wants to travel with children … and stay sane!

Picture kids armed with squirt guns, overrun pools, ice-cream cones upended and dripping down railings, card games in hallways, stampedes of kids running on deck -- these are just a few of the tales we've heard on our message boards about unruly kids at sea.

These stories, like many kids-run-amok incidents at sea, can't be blamed on the cruise line. While cruise lines can set and should enforce policies, it's a parent's responsibility to ensure his or her children are aware of -- and abide by -- the rules. We're not saying that all kids misbehave onboard; many will be well-behaved without additional parental intervention. But now that more than 1.5 million kids (ages 18 and younger) are sailing each year, the potential exists for a great many happy or unhappy children and adults.

How can you control your brood for smooth sailing? Here's some advice based on what we've learned -- sometimes the hard way -- during our years of family sailing.

Pick the right ship and itinerary for your family
Most mainstream cruise lines have nonstop activities for children, morning 'til night, yet all programs are not created equal. They run the gamut from small, personalized programs to those with rowdy teen discos. Some vessels offer evening entertainment you can attend as a family, and others sequester kids in late-night events while parents party about the ship. To help you find the ship that best matches your family's interests and kids' ages -- and, therefore, increase your chances for a fun time for all -- read our stories on Family Cruising Basics and Best Cruises for Teens.

Keep in mind that luxury lines may only operate youth programs on select sailings. In addition, off-peak sailings on lines like Princess, Holland America and Celebrity may not have a large enough number of children onboard to entice your young cruisers to hang out in the youth lounges (although some kids love the attention a small group brings). A lack of kids' programming or activities can lead to boredom and bad behavior, as can an itinerary with too many sea days, when teens prowl around looking for action. Consider itineraries packed with family-friendly ports of call, as well as those that offer teens-only shore excursions. Also, have your kids help pick the tours so they're invested in the choices and, hopefully, more well-behaved on them.

Lay down the law
Tell your kids what is expected of them. Yes, it's a family vacation, and there will be fun: curfews stretched, unlimited slices of pizza daily and other we-never-do-this-at-home occurrences. But insist that basic good behavior still applies. No running, pushing, shoving or cursing in public areas. Say please and thank you. No cutting in lines, shouting in the halls or throwing food in the dining rooms.

Then, create consequences. If you or anyone else catches your progeny misbehaving, let them know what will happen. After family travel expert Candyce Stapen's teenage son missed a midnight curfew by two hours, she "grounded" him the following evening, insisting he stay in the cabin after dinner with no friends visiting. For the rest of the voyage, she reports, he came in on time (though not one minute too soon). Personally, I've found locking a beloved D.S. or other electronic gadget in the safe can also go a long way in making a point about expected behavior, especially with younger children.

Talk about sex, drugs and alcohol
Think of a cruise ship as a weeklong party for teens. Now think of what you warn your kids about before going to a land-based bash: sex, drugs and alcohol. On a Caribbean sailing when we asked a mother of two lively 13- and 16-year-old daughters why her girls weren't participating much in the teen program, she told me the boys only want one thing "and my girls aren't interested." On another Caribbean cruise, an outgoing and popular teen was busted mid-voyage for selling marijuana. He and his family were not forced off the ship, but he was booted from the teen program and shunned by his peers -- for getting caught, we think, not necessarily for selling. So don't be naive.

Read the cruise rules to the gang
Before you go, make sure you and your family have read your cruise line's code of conduct. Princess posts a short and clear statement asking that parents or guardians supervise children and teens not participating in the youth programs, restrain children in public areas from running or engaging in loud or disruptive behavior, and accompany children in elevators at all times. Norwegian Cruise Line adds a teen discipline policy, noting that an unruly adolescent will be warned, then given a time-out with his parents notified. If the problem persists, the unrepentant faces suspension from the activities program for 24 hours. After he is allowed back in, the first instance of bad behavior gets him expelled from the teen scene's organized activities.

According to a Disney Cruise Line spokesperson, youth club counselors review expected behavior and safety rules with participants during orientation. The cruise line's code of conduct specifies that "responsible adults" will be charged for failure to "adequately supervise, control or care for minor children" if there are damages to shipboard property.

Royal Caribbean offers the most comprehensive code of conduct, spelling out rules for all passengers, adults as well as children. The code appears on the Safety and Security section of their Web site, as well as in all staterooms. In addition, Royal Caribbean's Code of Conduct even lists the consequences, which can include: removal of certain onboard privileges like admission to Adventure Ocean, removal from the pool area while parents are contacted, confinement to stateroom and even removal from the ship at the next port of call.

Check the minimum age
Minimum ages for fitness centers, solarium use, casinos, nightclubs and alcohol consumption vary by cruise line so don't assume what was true on one cruise line will apply to another.

On Carnival the minimum drinking age is 21. Princess also has a drinking age of 21, yet permits young adults (18+) in the nightclubs. Royal Caribbean's minimum drinking age is 21 from U.S. homeports and 18 pretty much everywhere else; passengers ages 18 and older are permitted in nightclubs. Norwegian Cruise Line has exceptions to its alcohol consumption policy, allowing passengers 18 and older to consume alcohol while onboard (except for Alaska and Hawaii itineraries) with the consent of an accompanying parent and a completed Young Adult Alcoholic Beverage Waiver form, which can be obtained at the Guest Services Desk. The form is not needed, however, on roundtrip European voyages.

On Carnival and Royal Caribbean, the minimum age to gamble in the casino is 18 (except in Alaska). Carnival passengers younger than 12 years of age are not permitted in Spa Carnival or the fitness center; passengers between the ages of 12 and 16 must be accompanied by an adult at all times. Royal Caribbean passengers 16 and older can use the fitness centers and whirlpools and attend the theater without parental supervision; those between the ages of 13 and 15 are allowed in the fitness centers with a parent or guardian at certain times. Norwegian Cruise Line's policy does not permit anyone younger than 18 to use the spa facilities (even if the facilities are complimentary for the category booked).

Table manners
On mainstream cruise lines (except Disney), many passengers book the later seating thinking there will be fewer kids, so behavior expectations are high. If your children are still unpredictable in restaurants, book the earlier seating, where there are at least more children in attendance, or hit the buffet instead. Another option is to ask if children's program staff pick up children from dinner and escort them to the various kids' club activities. Disney and Royal Caribbean both offer this service, which allows parents to have dessert and cappuccino in peace and kids an opportunity to scoot out of a long meal. Whatever the length of dinner, my family of preteen boys has found that a paper and pen go a long way in wait-for-your-meal entertainment. We've played everything from hangman to name every NFL (or NBA or NHL) team (we give geographic clues). I've even allowed an extra Shirley Temple for the kid who can name at least fifteen former "Dancing with the Stars" contestants. Have fun with it.

Monitor your kids
Now that my oldest son is 14, we allow him to come and go from the teen program, basketball court and pool, as long as he checks in with us and lets us know where he'll be. We tell him to leave a note in our cabin or find us at the gym or cafe at a certain time, and we do the same. This enables us to touch base and make plans for things like family mini-golf or dinner later that night. Better still are Disney's new wave phones, which look like cordless phones and function like walkie-talkies, eliminating the need for cabin notes. There are typically two per stateroom, making it easy for kids to call you on the other most anywhere on the ship or in the stateroom. Phone or not, go to where your child is hanging out, and observe from time to time.

Reminders
Kids need reminders. They're excited, like an adult might be when let loose in a Vegas hotel. So, remind them while you're sitting poolside not to do that cannonball and splash people sunbathing nearby, to use indoor voices on balconies even though, yes, they are technically outside, and to look over their shoulders when going through a door in case they can hold it open for the next person.

Adults need reminders, too. It can be tempting to allow your kids in an adults-only area you want to enjoy, as I discovered on a recent cruise when I left a note saying: "Bring your brother up to the cafe when you're awake and ready for breakfast." My husband and I slipped out to the adults-only cafe to indulge in quiet time with coffee and books. About an hour later, our 14-year-old slinked in. "We're near the Ping-Pong tables," he said. "Where's your brother?" I asked. "He's on the other side. Mom, it says no kids in here." He was right, and I'm sure the other adults in the cafe appreciated that the two of them hadn't come barreling in.

Be realistic
Nobody's kids are perfect, and neither are some adult passengers. But clearly stated rules and expectations, as well as frank talks, go a long way toward creating the type of family vacation you want to remember for the right reasons.

Finally, it's okay to want time without children -- yours or anyone else's -- especially if you came aboard for a romantic interlude or a girlfriends' getaway. Here are our tips for planning a kid-free vacation.

More from Cruise Critic:

• Best cruises for teens  
• Family cruising basics
• Best cruises for families